We’ve all been there.
You’re minding your own business, eating what you want, when someone decides to make a comment about what you’re eating.
“You really shouldn’t eat that.”
“There’s so much sugar in those.”
“I would never be able to lose weight eating that.”
“That’s a lot of calories.”
“I thought you were on a diet.”
“You’re getting more?”
“That’s not healthy.”
“You’re already eating again?”
The list goes on and on. And I don’t have to tell you how these kinds of comments can create feelings of guilt and shame, which can pull you back into Diet Culture.
So what do you do?
First, you have to let other people take ownership of their own comments.
Their comments are a reflection of their own belief system and relationship with food.
The comments they are making about you are the same comments they use to judge themselves.
And I can assure you that if they are making these kinds of comments, they are food obsessed and struggling with their own eating.
It’s not about you at all. You’re just a mirror to their own belief system.
Second, you decide whether you want to adopt their beliefs too.
Remember… belief systems are choices. And just because someone tries to get you on board with their world view, it doesn’t mean you have to join them.
If you know these comments aren’t helpful to you, choose to subscribe to a different set of beliefs around food.
If you do want to adopt them, just understand that all beliefs carry consequences.
Finally, decide if you want to set a boundary.
To be perfectly honest, as the years have gone on, I’ve moved away from setting verbal boundaries.
I used to call people out for the things they’d say. I’d ask them to not say certain things to me.
And it usually worked. But it also takes a good amount of emotional energy to set these boundaries.
Don’t let that stop you from setting one if you need to though.
But nowadays I tend to lean on step #1 above (let other people take ownership of their beliefs), and ignore them.
The more you can remind yourself that this isn’t personal to you, the easier it is to just dismiss people and go about your business.
You actually feel compassion for them because you know they are living a life that is likely causing a good amount of distress. And you’re confident enough to know that you don’t want to be a part of it.
You don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t have to change your behavior. They don’t even have to understand your choices.
Just remind yourself that you’re doing what’s best for you at this stage of your health and fitness journey.
Talk soon…